Of Stars and Moonlight
by DisappointedSon
Summary: Kylo Ren and General Hux are thrown together on a mission to gather kyber crystals for Supreme Leader Snoke. As part of their attempt to redeem themselves to their Master, the two men travel to the planet Utapau to retrieve the crystals, but is there more to Leader Snoke's plans for them than they'd realized?
1. Chapter 1 - All Fall Down

"All the time, Ren! You always brush me off and push me away!" General Hux's voice was raised in frustration toward the sulking black cloaked figure standing directly in front of him in a remote corridor on board Finalizer.

"Don't you put this on me, Hux!" came the retort from the imposing black-haired young man who stood a solid 2 inches taller than the redheaded General to whom he spoke.

"Who else is it on, Ren?! You don't even notice the things I usually do for you! Why should I try anymore?!" Hux's voice betrayed him, wavering slightly as he spat out the feeling over overwhelming futility of the whole thing.

"What nice things, exactly? All I seem to recall is you complaining about my tantrums and saying I need a babysitter." Kylo Ren was not known for his subtlety. If he wanted something, he generally took it for himself, by means of force or through emotional manipulation - pouting, sulking, and tantrums. He was a man of passion and action - not one to spend his days plotting and scheming, as was the habit of his current companion.

Hux shook his head mournfully. "You're so...forget it. I'm done." He took a step to walk away from the black-hooded man, but Kylo reached out and grabbed him roughly by the arm, halting him in his tracks.

"There it is! That's what I'm talking about. You start to say something and then stop. It's more than I can stand. You send me mixed signals every day, and then push me away. You irritate me purposely, out of spite, and then you tell me I'm being childish for getting upset? How dare you, General? How dare you?"

Hux shook of Kylo's grip, throwing up his arms in exasperation. "You're so blind! I dance around you on damn eggshells every day, Ren because I can't predict you! You try to get my attention by destroying things and lashing out and making it seem like you don't want me around! On top of that, you do the same thing! You start to talk to me, I mean really open up to me, and then you just close off again! Stop making it seem like I'm the one shutting you out, Ren! How. Dare. You."

The General's retort was more than he could take. The hint that there were feelings behind all the long glances, the low jabs, and the moments of kindness. But how can he be sure? Even in that moment, when Hux had clearly shown his wounded pride, Kylo couldn't get a simple straightforward answer from the man. As his rage grew to critical mass, there was an eruption inside him, and he lashed outward, force pushing Hux back against the wall. Walking slowly up to the stunned ginger, Ren thrust forward a hand and pinned him there, using the force, but stepping close - oh so close - his face mere inches from the other man's. "Stop." he breathed in a menacing tone. "Just stop."

Hux peered up at his captor, green eyes steadfast, betraying no hint of fear. When he spoke, his voice was softer, almost pleading. "Or what, Ren? Going to close me off, again?"

Kylo growled menacingly, his heart pounding from the exhilaration of fury and raw energy. "I should," he breathed, "I should just walk away and leave you here, flustered and brooding."

Hux wrapped one hand around Ren's wrist, scowling back at him. "It would be like you... Or... you could not."

For a moment, Kylo glared down at Hux's hand on his wrist, then back up to his face, and whispered breathlessly "I. Detest. You."

The General locked eyes with Ren, sneering "I. Know." Then breathlessly added, "The sentiment, Ren, is mutual."

A sound somewhere between a growl and a groan emitted from deep within Kylo's chest, and he gripped Hux's wrists, pinning them to the wall before roughly covering Hux's mouth with his own.

Hux kissed him back, just as fiercely, already feeling the bruises forming on his wrists. He clenched his fists, pushing against the hold on him.

Releasing one of the General's wrists, Ren tangled his fingers in the ginger's hair, reveling in the moment of intimacy and taking advantage of the opportunity. Slipping his other arm behind the General's back, he pulled Hux against himself."

In response, Hux instantly tangled one hand into Ren's hair, pulling him closer, still. As soon as he had his other hand, it gripped at the other's black cloak, grounding him in this moment and feeling Ren's body heat and the soft beat of his heart.

Feeling the tug on his hair, Kylo groaned against Hux's mouth, teeth gently closing on the other man's lower lip before pulling back to let it slip out of his bite. Pressing his lips against the others' neck, he mumbled against soft flesh, 'Do you want me, Hux? Tell me you do...'

Hux whined at the gentle bite. He tilted his head and bared his neck to Ren. "Force, Ren...don't ask stupid questions. Office." He groaned at the lips on his neck. "Across the hall." He pushed gently against Ren's chest. "There. Go there."

Grumbling his consent, Ren pulled Hux away from the wall and nearly dragged him into the office across the hall. 'Door!' he gasped, indicating that Hux should close it, never releasing his hold on the General.

Hux kicked it closed behind them, unwilling to part now. He pulled Ren back into a kiss, stumbling against him as they crossed the room. He jumped up to wrap his legs around Ren's hips and letting the other man decide where they went.

In turn, Ren lifted him, turning to rest the other man's weight on the desk to his left. With frenzied urgency, he unbuttoned Hux's collar, shoving his great coat off his shoulders and busying his hands with the General's belt. Tossing Hux's belt on the floor, he nearly tore the black shirt off of him, sliding his arms around the other man's back, pulling him close. 'Hux...' He panted, dragging his teeth lightly down Hux's neck before bringing his mouth back up to meet the other's.

'Kylo,' he mumbled back, pulling at the black cloak and pleasurably humming as teeth scraped across his sensitive neck. His fingers twined in the other's hair. He broke the kiss. 'If you don't hurry up, I swear...' He threatened,arching into Ren. 'I've waited too long for this, Ren, don't make me wait longer.' He kissed him again.


	2. Chapter 2- Aftermath

Author's notes: Thank-you for taking time to read our fanfic! This story is a joint effort by myself ( DisappointedSon) and ( JustGeneralHux), and is a work in progress RP storyline on Twitter. Feel free to follow us there for updates as we write them.

Please note that the nature of Twitter roleplay necessitates a back-and-forth point of view perspective, and this will be reflected in the story here. If there are portions that feel a bit choppy, this is why. Thank-you for understanding!

We love to hear your feedback, so please let us know what you think!  
Thanks again for stopping by. We hope you enjoy reading our story as much as we have enjoyed writing it.

* * *

The floor is littered with black garments lying in heaps. Papers and writing implements carelessly shoved off the desk lay scattered around the room, and the two men lie still behind the desk, breathing heavily with Ren's cloak covering their bodies, glistening with sweat. Kylo Ren's head rests against Hux's chest, his sleek black hair clinging to the beadlets of moisture glistening on his fair skin. He can't remember the last time he felt so peaceful, as he listens to the gradually slowing thump of the other man's heartbeat. Allowing his long fingers to lazily glide over the soft, smooth skin of Hux's stomach, he sighs contentedly. "Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to do that, Hux?" Ren pants between heavy breaths.

Hux's eyes were closed. He focused on breathing properly and the feeling of Ren's long fingers tracing random patterns across his skin. The cloak itched, slightly, but he didn't care. It was warm and it smelled like Ren, and that's all that mattered at the moment. The ginger brought a still trembling hand up to still Ren's and lace their fingers together as he finally was able to calm his heartbeat and just breathe.* Probably no where near as long as I have. *He chuckles softly, a genuine smile playing across his lips instead of his usual smirk.

Ren chuckled softly, noting that even in this most tender of moments, the two men were arguing over who'd waited longer to ravish the other. "Maybe not," he conceded, "But I bet I wanted it /more/." He propped himself up on one elbow to look into the the other man's face, the fingers of his other hand curling to entwine with Hux's. "I feel... happy." He let the last word linger, almost as if it was more question than statement. "I'd almost forgotten what happiness felt like," he added softly, bringing the General's hand to his mouth and kissing his knuckles gently.

The ginger blushed, his smile turning soft when Ren kissed his hand. He felt so warm, so safe. He looked up at the force-user. His dark hair fell around him like an out of place halo. "Kylo..." Hux sighed. "I..you have the most amazing eyes." He chuckled, twisting to hide his face in Ren's arm. "I sound as silly as some of the girls at the Academy." He tightened his grip on the other's hand, trying to memorize how it felt to have him so close.

The younger man grinned at Hux's words. "Mmm, no, General, don't hide your face," he coaxed. "I want to remember exactly how you look right now - peaceful and vulnerable and perfect..." His eyes sparkled in the dim light as he caressed the ginger's features with his gaze. He knew that tomorrow morning, this would all be a distant memory, and he desperately wanted to make it last as long as it could.

Hux shook his head, staying in his hiding spot for a moment longer before finally peeking back out at the other. Pale green eyes twinkled in the dim light, freckles and pale skin were tinged with a lingering blush. "I want to remember all of you, Kylo," he admitted. He studied the other like a map of the stars. Tracing constellations and trying to dedicate them to memory, so that when the sun came up and took them away from each other, he'd still be able to see his dark angel in his mind. He turned his eyes upward, again, meeting Ren's gaze. "You're perfect."

At the General's words, the younger man felt a warm blush prickling his cheeks. Releasing Hux's hand, he swept his fingertips softly over the other's cheek, letting the pad of his thumb gently trace his lower lip. Keeping his gaze steadily on Hux's mouth, he leaned in and kissed him. This time the kiss was not hurried or rough. It was gentle and supplicant, like a reverent prayer. When he drew back, he once more rested his head on Hux's chest, closing his eyes. "I suppose we can't stay here all night..." It was a statement, but somehow he wished Hux would argue the point.

Hux closed his eyes when Ren spoke. Those few words, and he could feel the rays of sunlight taking away his stars. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to focus on that instead of the sinking feeling inside his chest. He took a shaky breath and held it. He knew that Ren was right, but he wasn't ready to let go. He gathered the little courage he had, finally opening his eyes. "You're right. But, my quarters're secluded from everything else," the statement hung as an invitation.

Ren tensed, surprised by the invitation and what it could mean, but he wanted it badly. Lifting his head to look at the General, he nodded. "I would like that very much," he answered.

Hux released the breath he was holding, leaning up to press a fleeting kiss to Ren's lips. "Then you're going to have to let me get up, Ren," the ginger smiled brightly. "Just for a little while."

Ren grinned and pushed himself up to a sitting position. He gathered what he could reach of his clothing and began to dress himself. He hated for this moment to end, but he knew they couldn't very well walk to the General's quarters naked. He pulled on his boots, his heart fluttering with joyful anticipation.

Hux followed the other's lead and hastily began to dress. He picked up his greatcoat and tossed it on his desk opting towrap Ren's cloak around his shoulders after he had finished pulling on his boots. He held out his hand, "come on, then."

Ren scrambled to his feet, eying the outstretched hand. With a broad smile, he reached out and took it, following after the other man, still not quite believing this was all actually happening. Hux pulled Ren after him, he bit his lip, trying to lessen his smile. He took them down a few halls, almost jogging in his haste to get to his door. When they reached it, he took a moment to open it. He looked at Ren, suddenly nervous, again.

As they reached the General's quarters, Kylo watched him with giddy excitement - completely and utterly uncharacteristic of himself, but he couldn't help it. When Hux paused, Ren's eyebrows crept upward questioningly. "What's wrong?" he asked hoping that he hadn't changed his mind.

Hux turned to face Ren. "N-nothihg, really." He bit his bottom lip, looking down at their joined hands and deciding to just admit what was going on in his head. "I'm nervous, for no reason at all." He shook his head and smiled, deciding to think about it later. "Never mind." He pulled Ren into his rooms, trying to reassure the other with a kiss.

Ren cocked his head to one side. "Nervous? Why?" he asked. "You didn't seem very nervous a few moments ago..." He grinned, returning Hux's reassuring kiss.

"I don't know why I'm nervous," he shrugged, but his heart still pounded. It was new territory they were in, and some random office was one thing, but now they were standing in the middle of his quarters. Hux sighed, "again, never mind. My bed isn't exceptionally comfortable, but it's soft and warm." He cocked his head, "if you want to stay."

The dark young man studied Hux, tempted to press into his mind and discover the source of his anxiety, but deciding not to. If there was one sure way to ruin whatever they had started, it would be to force his way into Hux's mind. Instead, he walked over to the bed and flopped down, stretching out on the mattress. "Well, it's much more comfortable than that floor was." He laughed, holding out an arm in invitation for the other man to join him.

Hux stood and just stared at the sight - Ren stretched out lazily, relaxed for once, on his bed. He flipped the lights off and walked to the bed. He pulled off Ren's boots and then his own before turning and cuddling back up against the force-user's side. The ginger hummed, "you're warm."

Rolling onto his side to face the General, he draped a long, muscled arm over the other man's waist, pulling him closer. "I have been told as much before," he grins, placing a feathery kiss on the tip of Hux's nose. Hooking a leg over Hux's, he closes his eyes and sighs, "Thank-you, General, for tonight. It was a long time in coming." Within moments, he is asleep.

The ginger felt a flicker of...something in his chest when Ren spoke. He pushed impossibly closer to the other, ducking his head under Ren's chin. He smiled, kissing the other's neck before slowly drifting off, himself.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Morning After

Author's notes: Thank-you for taking time to read our fanfic! This story is a joint effort by myself ( DisappointedSon) and ( JustGeneralHux), and is a work in progress RP storyline on Twitter. Feel free to follow us there for updates as we write them.

Please note that the nature of Twitter roleplay necessitates a back-and-forth point of view perspective, and this will be reflected in the story here. If there are portions that feel a bit choppy, this is why. Thank-you for understanding!

We love to hear your feedback, so please let us know what you think!  
Thanks again for stopping by. We hope you enjoy reading our story as much as we have enjoyed writing it.

* * *

The General had woken early as always, but was reluctant to leave his warm bed. Ren had rolled in his sleep to face away Hux and the ginger watched him for a long while. He'd never seen the other so relaxed and peaceful. The screen of his datapad lit up, alerting him to the request for his presence on the bridge. He debated ignoring it before quietly slipping out of the bed. He showered quickly, dressed, groomed and left with a long look back at Ren.

Kylo Ren awoke to a buzzing on his comm link. Bleary-eyed, he looked around the unfamiliar room in confusion until he remembered what had happened the night before. With a sigh, he let his head fall back into the pillow. Hux was nowhere to be seen, and the young force-wielder felt his stomach twist as he remembered the events of the previous night. What had he been thinking? Dragging himself out of bed with a groan, he walked immediately to the door and made his way to his own living quarters to bathe and dress for the day. With any luck, Hux's and his paths would not cross today, and he'd have some time to meditate, center himself, and consider all the implications of what had passed between them.

An hour later, Ren sat quietly in his meditation chamber, staring at the relic that was once Darth Vader's mask. Normally this posture was soothing to his mind and spirit, but this day he had no peace. Sighing heavily, he rose from his seat and strode out of the room. Just as he was leaving, he heard the familiar sound of a message incoming on his personal holoprojector. Flicking on the device, a small image appeared of Lieutenant Mitaka. "Lord Ren..." he stammered, clearly unnerved. "The Supreme Leader requests your presence." "On my way," Ren replied, breaking the communication without another word. Grabbing his helmet on his way out the door, he placed it firmly over his head before exiting his quarters.

Hux growled under his breath as his communicator sounded again. He had been dragged back and forth across the Finalizer all day. He was tense and sore. All he wanted was just a moment to stop and drop his professionalism and just curl up, block out the galaxy. He ignored his comm, opting instead to look at the screen of his datapad as urgent notices continued to flood in. He sighed, apparently even taking a night to himself is off the table, now. When his holoprojector, communicator, and datapad all suddenly began to beep at once, he grabbed one at random. "What?!" He snapped into the comm. "G-General," A shaken voice began. "The Supreme Leader requests a meeting. Now, sir. It's urgent." The ginger gritted his teeth, "tell him I will be there shortly."

With long, determined strides, the imposing young dark sided made his way to the conference room where he always met with Leader Snoke. The cavernous room was cold, dark, and so silent it was almost painful to the ears. As he entered the auditorium, the image of the Supreme lmLeader himself materialized before him. Walking briskly down the aisle leading to the holo platform, he bowed in respect to his mentor. "Supreme Leader," he said solemnly, "I arrived as quickly as I could." Hearing the telltale sound of the door opening behind him, Ren turned quickly to see General Hux hurrying toward them and his heart jumped into his throat. (Blast!) he thought to himself. (So much for avoiding Hux today.)

Hux had shot exactly three stormtroopers for slowing him down on his way to the holochamber. He had delegated his work as best he could - or at least to the point that the ship would not implode in on itself while he was away. He paused in front of the metal doors, taking a breath and making sure that he was presentable before striding into the room. The ginger's eyes widened when they landed on Kylo Ren. He had hoped to be invisible to the knight for the remainder of the day. With a sigh, he stopped, shoulder to shoulder with the taller man. "Supreme Leader, I apologize for my tardiness."

Ren swallowed hard as Hux walked up to stand beside him. He could feel the other man's energy signature like the faint hum of electricity, and it caused the hairs on the back of his neck to bristle. A brief image flashed through his mind of the previous night - pale flesh, hot breath, rapid pulse... He hoped against hope that Snoke was not trying to view his thoughts at that moment, as he tried, largely unsuccessfully, to center his thoughts and calm his mind. Fixing his gaze straight ahead and upward at the colossal image of the Supreme Leader, Ren steadied his breath, thankful for the mask he wore which would at least prevent General Hux from seeing the color rising to his cheeks. "What is your bidding, my Master?" Kylo Ren asked in a deep and steady voice.

Hux clenched his hands behind his back even tighter as Ren's rough voice broke the silence that had taken over the room. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to stop his body from shaking. More than ever, the force seemed to flow off the other man in waves, wrapping around the General in soft caresses of pure energy. He tried to imagine a wall, but he couldn't find a way to fill the cracks already broken into it.  
He turned his attention to the twisted, caricature of a man that sat on a crumbling throne. Snoke's voice rumbled around them, an earthquake with a controlled epicenter.  
"Starkiller Base has been lost," the gargoyl began. "A failure that you both watched over." His eyes landed on the ginger. "A heavy blow to our forces, General, and an even greater setback in the war."

The young apprentice wilted beneath the judgement of his teacher, knowing that the failure of their imperative had been largely his own fault. Taking note of Snoke's heavy gaze falling on Hux, his heart sunk; whatever jealousy and differences there were between the two young men, he couldn't let Hux take the fall for his own shortcomings. Taking a step forward and raising his voice, Ren spoke loudly and clearly, "Supreme Leader, I am largely to blame for our failure at Starkiller." He cast a sidelong glance at the ginger haired man, knowing Hux couldn't see his face. "Punish me if you must, but spare the General." He was stunned by his own words. Such a display of compassion was uncharacteristic for him, and most likely would /not/ engender approval in the huge apparition before them.

(What are you doing?!) Hux mentally yelled at the knight, not really knowing if Ren could hear him, but nonetheless shooting the thought in his direction. Part of him, however, in that same thought thanked the other man for pulling the Supreme Leader's gaze away from him. "Lord Snoke," the General growled. "Please forgive my failures. It will not happen, again."  
Grey eyes narrowed as a torn face scowled, "for your sake, I hope that your promise is true. Remember, General, that you may have been chosen by me once, but you can easily be replaced." His glare then shifted to his apprentice. "You have your own failures, Kylo Ren. Losing the scavenger and the map to Skywalker, do not add to them. You have both failed." Hux shivered, trying to remain still as Snoke's power radiated even just from this hologram of him. "And you will both take part in the punishment of these failures."

Ren flinched imperceptibly at the thought the General had nearly screamed at him. He rolled his eyes at the older man. Raising his voice once more, the apprentice addressed his master. "Only say the word, Teacher. What must we do to redeem ourselves to you?" He tried to calm his pulse, hoping he hadn't started sweating beneath his layers of black fabric.

Snoke considered them, watching them in silence. Hux held his breath, hoping to all things that the Supreme Leader was not in either of their minds, right now. He felt cold under that steely gaze, like he was ripped apart and thrown into the winds on Hoth.  
"There is a planet, not far from where you are, now. Utapau." The name sounded vagely familiar to Hux, like he had heard it in a dream or a fleeting conversation from his childhood. "It onced housed a great Kyber crystal that powers Sith weaponry. Now, it is in ruin."  
Hux glanced over at Ren - as statuesque as ever. He was tense. "What do you wish us to do, Supreme Leader? Do you want us to re-take the planet?"  
"No, it is useless to us in that way. It would be just another way for you to waste my time," the hologram flickered. "You two will go on a mission to the surface of Utapau and seek complete crystals. It is time you had a fully functional saber, my apprentice."

Ren cringed as the massive hologram flickered. The anger and disappointment radiating from the ancient was palpable even, he felt sure, for someone who was /not/ sensitive to the Force. Furthermore, the remarks had hit a nerve; he had grown very fond of the lightsaber he had crafted with the cracked kyber crystal. He reveled in its uniqueness and its volatility. But he knew better than to argue with the Supreme Leader. Genuflecting, the dark knight spoke solemnly, "We will not disappoint you, Master. I will -" he cast another sidelong glance at Hux standing beside him. "-/We/ will do as you say." Inwardly, Ren wondered why Snoke would send Hux with him on such a mission. Surely he was capable of fending for himself in such a task. Silently chastising himself for doubting his master's wisdom, he rose to his feet once more.

The hologram flickered out, leaving the two men alone in silence and dim lighting. Hux clenched his jaw. Being in the same room as Ren, right now, was like splashing him with cold water. Going on a mission, alone, with him would be like expecting him to survive a blizzard. The General kept his pale eyes trained ahead of him, too aftraid at what might happen if he looks at the force-user beside him. "A new crystal. You must be excited...can't say why I'm being dragged into it, though." It was a lame thing to say and he knew it. But the silence was suffocating and he couldn't think of anything else worth commenting on short of saying 'hey, Kylo, thanks for the great time last night, we should do it again sometime.' He sighed. "I will alert hanger deck 4. You are fit to fly, correct?"

Ren stood frozen in place. The absence of Snoke's presence - even virtually - left a vacuum in the massive chamber. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or groan at Hux's remark. Excited? Hardly. Looking down at the floor, the imposingly tall young man felt very small. He'd been berated, albeit somewhat passively, in front of the one other person whose opinion mattered to him, and now he was alone with that man. The General's thoughts and feelings - primarily embarrassment and anxiety - forced themselves on Ren uncomfortably. Hux didn't mean to, he knew, but in the time that he'd come to know General Hux, Kylo learned what almost no one else on the Finalizer knew - that though he was self-disciplined and composed at all times, General Hux was a man who felt deeply and passionately. The impetuous force-user was constantly baffled by his ability to remain unflappable, even under the most alarming of circumstances; it was a quality that Ren found both admirable and infuriating. Finally, he turned to look at Hux and spoke in a cool and level tone. "I am," he said with a nod. "I will go and make preparations." And with that, he turned and strode out of the room. (I will go and make preparations?) he thought to himself as he walked away from the other man as quickly as he could. He was going to have to get a grip on himself if this mission was going to be even vaguely successful.

(What have I done?) Hux watched the other man go, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The intensity that rolled off of Ren was strong enough to make most men cower. While Hux had gotten to the point where he could stand to be around the knight, his knees still felt weak when they were together. The ginger suddenly felt very alone, but on edge, like eyes were watching him from the long shadows that stretched around him, reaching with ghostly fingers to caress his boots. He shook his head, tossing away the irrational fears and turning on a heel to escape to his chambers. He packed light, clothes, shoes, blaster, and a few other weapons that he kept hidden away. He looked at his datapad, checking the time. He didn't have long to notify his officers of his extended leave, so he opted to do so while stalking his way to the hanger. (Looks like Ren and I will have a lot of time to awkwardly avoid talking...)


	4. Chapter 4

Author's notes: Thank-you for taking time to read our fanfic! This story is a joint effort by myself ( DisappointedSon) and ( JustGeneralHux), and is a work in progress RP storyline on Twitter. Feel free to follow us there for updates as we write them.

Please note that the nature of Twitter roleplay necessitates a back-and-forth point of view perspective, and this will be reflected in the story here. If there are portions that feel a bit choppy, this is why. Thank-you for understanding!

We love to hear your feedback, so please let us know what you think!  
Thanks again for stopping by. We hope you enjoy reading our story as much as we have enjoyed writing it

* * *

Once back inside his quarters, Ren pulled a black satchel from under his bed and quickly stuffed inside a few extra tunics and pairs of pants, undergarments, and a few small trinkets, each having either superstitious or sentimental value. His outer robes, hood, and cloak, he reasoned, could be worn several times before needing to be cleaned, and most of his other needs would be met by the Force. Fastening the bag securely shut, he hoisted it over his shoulder, and exited his quarters. 'Hangar Deck 4' he reminded himself, recalling General Hux's words. The sudden thought of the General caused his stomach to flop. They were going to be alone together on Utapau, and they were going to have to eventually discuss what had happened between them. The fiery young man, though deeply passionate, was equally deeply averse to /discussing/ his feelings. Having been raised by two emotionally distant parents, he'd never really learned to discuss things of an emotional nature. His mother had been too proud, his father too stubborn and arrogant, to take the time to guide a child through the process of dealing with his emotions. With a heavy sigh, Kylo Ren made his way to Hangar Deck 4, his heart rate gradually increasing in direct relation to his proximity to General Hux, with whose energy he'd become so well acquainted.

The ginger tapped his foot as he worked. He had dropped his bag at his feet, ignoring and disposing of it to instead be able to use both of his hands. Message after message was written, signed, sent. Schedules were listed, changed, edited, relisted. At a certain point, the General had run out of things to to and just stood and glared at the screen in his hands. The few other people in the hanger kept their distance after the first few who approached were sent away with icy glares and cold words. (How fitting, to think of myself as ice, when I always see Ren as fire.) Hux pondered that fleeting idea. That's what the knight was - unpredictable, uncontrollable, ready to burn down an entire world in a destructive sweep and raise it again from the ashes...passionate beyond all else. Hux was jolted out of his thoughts as heavy footsteps approached him. He turned, looking up to meet the black and silver metal of a mask. "Ren."

"General Hux," Ren's voice was sonorous through the mask he wore. Normally his primary reason for wearing it was to instill fear into those with whom he came in contact. Now, however, he was only thankful that it hid his facial expression. "Is our shuttle ready for departure?" he asked in what he hoped was a cool and measured tone. It was an empowering feeling, being able to observe another without them being able to see you, or even to know whether you were truly looking at them at all. Taking advantage of this edge which his mask granted him, he allowed his gaze to linger on Hux's face. A chill ran throughout his body as his eyes wandered, slowly and deliberately, over every feature, from his pale green eyes, over his stately nose, down to his smooth, full lips. It was almost more than Ren's heart could bear. Forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the older man's face, he turned aside, craning his neck to get a look at the ship they would be taking to Utapau.

Hux narrowed his eyes, having that same feeling of being watched run down his spine. "It is," He nodded toward a small ship. "Over there. I've been running our course. It will take approximately fourteen hours to reach the planet. Food and water has already been stocked on the shuttle. All that's left is to man it." The General handed his datapad to a stray officer, giving him a long warning look before turning his attention back to the force-user. The mask covered him more than the ginger would have liked. It made him inhuman - a blazing force of nature rather than an actual being. It made Hux nervous. He could read Ren well without that damn helmet. With it? He could only hope to guess at what the other was thinking. Perhaps that was better. "Shall we get this over with?"

Ren nodded, his pride wounded by Hux's abrupt comment. He was torn between grief over thinking that the previous night had meant nothing to the other man, and the effort he was putting forth to convince /himself/ that the previous night had meant nothing. Maybe it really /had/ meant nothing, and things would simply revert to the way they had always been. Perhaps it would be for the best if they did. Whatever he thought had happened between them seemed to be very much over today. And yet... Ren's brooding was interrupted by a small group of men who had marched onto the hangar and halted before his companion, snapping to attention as they did so. "General Hux, Sir, we were summoned to escort you and Lord Ren to Utapau." The young force-wielder observed the interchange, once again impressed with the way Hux demanded respect without having to kill men to achieve it.

"An escort?" Hux barely showed his confusion, keeping his mask in place. "Very good. Board and await us." He watched as the small squad marched away, thier identical armor clinking with each step they made. Each step they took away from the pair, the more the ginger's shoulders started to ache with tension. He was, well, conflicted about having others in the shuttle with him. While the General knew that there was a lot for the two to talk about, he was hesitant to do so, at least until they were alone. Having these soldiers with them meant that whatever he was hoping to accomplish was no longer even an option. Furthermore, he was more or less willing to let Ren see him without his persona, but he would never drop it in front of his men. He gave a heavy sigh. He looked over at Ren - he wanted to say something to the man. Anything to let him know that what had happened...he looked back to the shuttle with a heavy sigh. "I suppose Snoke decided we needed supervision," he muttered. "How likely is it that they also have orders to stay at the ship while we tranverse the wilderness?"

Ren huffed, clearly irritated at the intrusion. "The odds are quite favorable, if you allow me to dispense with them once we're in hyperspace," he said grimly. The pit in his stomach was growing, and he desperately wished he could go back to bed. Better yet, he wished he could go back to /Hux's/ bed, and start this day over again, waking up earlier than he had in actuality. But as strong with the Force as Kylo Ren was, even he could not turn back time. Pivoting to look at the General once more, he felt something coming from him - some desire or longing, though it was not sexual in nature. Perhaps a desire to convey a thought or feeling? He couldn't quite grasp it, and he refused to purposefully press into Hux's mind. Sensing that they might not have another moment in relative privacy for at least the next 14 hours, Ren reached up and disengaged the mouthpiece of his helmet before lifting the whole thing off his head and tucking it under his arm. He was sure that his emotional vulnerability must have been written all over his face, but it didn't matter. Fixing his chocolate brown eyes on Hux's green ones, he asked, "Is there something you want to say, Hux?"

The mechanical tinge to Ren's threat made it almost fanciful. Something out of a holo-book more than reality. But it also gave it a rough edge that made it impossible to distinguish as actuality or a joke. Hux began to look away until the force-user turned toward him fully. The ginger's back snapped straight, shoulders leveling themselves - 'always wear your own mask,' Hux's father once told him, 'everyone else does, even if you can't see it.' The clicks and hisses that accompanied the helmet's removal sent an odd feeling through him, as if his own face was being revealed alongside Ren's. Perhaps it's because he understood what this meant: for the taller man to so openly and easily show his face to Hux - to be willing to reveal himself - that was trust. Ren's face was flickered with rapidly appearing and disappearing emotions. Hux schooled himself, looking into dark eyes. "There are many things I want to say, Lord Ren, some more than others." He began to move away, pausing with an option for more private communication. "You are welcome in my head, Ren, so long as you get out when I want you to."

Ren blinked, truly surprised by Hux's invitation to enter his consciousness. Nodding, he closed his eyes, focusing his energy on pressing into the General's mind. Once he'd reached a certain level of clarity, he opened his large brown eyes to meet Hux's green ones. It was the first time the young force user could remember that the calculating military strategist had willingly invited him into his mind, and it shook him to the core. Physical intimacy was one thing, but this was intimacy on a whole other level. Swallowing hard, he nodded, his eyes glossing with tears, so moved was he by this willingness to be made vulnerable. [I'm here] he projected into General Hux's mind.

Hux's eyes widened when the deep voice echoed through his head - incomplete thoughts reacting to the experience flitted about and were ultimately thrown away. [So it would seem.] The General tried to keep his voice - thoughts? - calm, even though he was anything but that. He nodded and finally broke his eye contact with Ren, he could feel himself shaking - he could feel, actually feel, the force-user there, in his head, like fingers gliding through his thoughts as if they were parting water. A memory of an old lore sprang up from deep depths, he threw that away as well. "we should get to the ship," he said instead. "We're already on Snoke's bad side, probably shouldn't keep him waiting." [I'd rather just stay here.] Oh. And he would have to learn to control those surface-level thoughts, wouldn't he?

Ren gasped softly as Hux tore his gaze away, the loss of eye contact feeling like a physical amputation - like losing part of himself. He kept his own gaze trained on the General, and cocked his head slightly in confusion. [Which is it, General? Stay or go? It's a little.../busy/ in here, isn't it?] he added mirthfully, attempting to navigate around the broken fragments and rejected thoughts that Hux was trying to sweep aside. Suddenly, he was aware that the other man was shaking. It took everything within in him not to reach out and cup the General's face in his palms and comfort him, but he knew it would not be appropriate, and even if it were, Hux would surely reject such an outward display in front of his men. [What is it, Hux?] he pressed again, brows furrowing subtly. [What is it you wanted to tell me?] He knew if he pushed too hard, Hux might repel him from his mind, but he had to know - to hear for himself what the man was thinking and feeling.

The ginger felt something from Ren, and wasn't that interesting, too - feeling some one else's reaction in your own head. There was something saddening that flowed into Hux's mind from the other, some undescribed thought in the dark-haired man's head. He suddenly picked his bag up off the floor, but he didn't move. Stop shaking, stop shaking. Stop. Shaking. He trained his eyes on their shuttle, furrowing his brow at his own internal conflict. [We should go. We need to go,] he mentally stated. Thinking about how to answer the second half of Ren's query. He felt heat rise to his cheeks and he instantly scowled at himself for showing any kind of outward turmoil or expression - his mask was slipping too fast. [I just...it's nothing, Ren.] Hux turned to the taller man once more, scowl replaced with a sardonic smirk and quirked brow. "Shall we, Lord Ren?"

If Ren had been trying to keep up any kind of outward facade, it had completely fallen away now, as Hux firmly re-affixed his own mask. He gaped at the General, his temper beginning to simmer below the surface. "Fine," he spat, turning away from the the smirking man, and trudging off in the direction of the ship. Without looking back at the General, he haphazardly tossed a thought in his direction. [Why the /hell/ did you invite me to enter your mind, if you intended to shut me out of that as well?] Privately, he castigated himself for believing that Hux had actually intended to open himself up completely to him. He felt foolish and humiliated, just like he had the night of the Valentine's Ball. What an idiot he had been for believing that the frosty young General actually /cared/ for him. By the time he'd reached the shuttle, Ren was fairly steaming, and he stomped onto the ship with heavy footfalls. Making a point /not/ to look back, or make any further psychic communication with Hux, the sulking knight went straight to the back of the shuttle to the on-board refresher, and locked himself inside. One thing was for certain: this mission was going to be pure torture.

The General's smirk faded the moment that the knight turned away from him. The air about him crackled with the force's energy as he stalked his way to the shuttle. Hux cringed outwardly at the rage that laced Ren's mental words. That...wasn't supposed to happen. A door slammed shut in his mind, echoing in a chamber that now felt very much alone. He felt stranded for a few moments, as though someone had put out his torch. He slowly trudged to the ship, noting the distinct lack of Ren. He took a seat and ordered the pilot to take off. As the engine rumbled to life and the thrusters kicked on, he tried to push a calming air towards his hidden companion. He sighed, sitting straight-backed in his seat. He felt cold again. How perfect...this mission was already a disaster. [I'm sorry...please come back.]


	5. Chapter 5 - The Long Journey

Inside the small room, Ren ran his fingers through his mop of black hair. He felt Hux at the edge of his consciousness, trying to reach him, but he erected a wall in his mind, sending Hux's words flying right back to him. He allowed the anger surging through him to build, attempting to draw strength from the pure raw energy of it, but he felt too broken. In the time since he'd turned to the Dark Side and taken the name Kylo Ren, the volatile young man had been successful in keeping himself isolated from emotional entanglements. He spent most of his time alone in his quarters, communing with his Grandfather's spiritual essence, or devoting himself fully to training in the ways of the Force. Allowing Hux admission into his most personal moments had been a mistake. With a groaning sigh, Ren closed his eyes and allowed his mental wall to come down for a moment. Reaching out in the Force, he projected into Hux's consciousness [You're /sorry/? What, exactly, is it that you are sorry for?] Taking a deep steadying breath, he stood up and walked out of the refresher in to the main cabin. His gaze landed on Hux immediately, and he grimaced, hating himself for the way his pulse raced when he made eye contact with the other man. Silently, he walked over to where the General sat and took the seat next to him. Looking straight ahead, he wordlessly spoke into Hux's mind. [Let's just focus on the task at hand.]

Hux glared at the men around him as they worked about the shuttle. They barely talked, only speaking when they had to give one another orders. They bustled around, giving the ginger a wide bubble as the ice in his eyes tracked anyone who got to close. Hearing the invisible voice again was just as unsettling as the first time. It was confusing to the senses. He heard the voice ringing in his head, but not like when talking to someone in person. It sounded like trying to pull something back from a dream - like an old memory of someone's voice, their tones and inflections, all suddenly recalled and dragged to the forefront of the mind. It was organized chaos and Hux wasn't entirely sure he had made the right decision offering his mind to Ren. The man in question suddenly blazed back into the main room, causing all the stormtroopers accompanying them to stop for a moment before cautiously moving around him - his anger palpable and his return cutting off the General's immediate reply to his questions. Hux tracked the knight as he came to sit beside him. [Do you want me to focus or do you want me to apologize, Ren?] He snapped in the other's mind. [I can do one or the other, it's your damn choice.]

Ren sighed loudly, becoming more convinced with each passing moment that he had made a serious error in judgement where it concerned this man. He bristled at the tone of the disembodied voice filling his mind. [We need to get through this mission without killing each other, Hux], he looked down at his hands folded on his lap, before casting a glance at the General. [If you would like to apologize, please do so.] His eyes trailed over Hux's features and his stomach lurched as he found he could not deny the desire he still felt for the man. "Wonderful," he thought in the most private part of his mind, "One more set of emotions to seal away in the deepest recesses of my soul." He looked away from Hux and fixed his gaze on a randomly selected spot on the cabin wall, waiting to hear what the General would convey next.

[I'm not the one with an issue with violent outbursts,] Hux hissed back through that mental link. The ginger refused to look at the other man. He clenched his jaw when he felt eyes on him but other than that remained still. He would /not/ react to Ren. Not now, not here. Maybe when they were alone and he could drop his persona freely, he would, but he refused to have any of his subordinates see the chinks forming in his armor. [I was going to apologize for whatever I did that set you off, again, but obviously you don't care about it that much.] Hux spared a fleeting look in Ren's direction, following the man's gaze to some random part of the wall before frowning, rolling his eyes, and looking away. [Fine. Ignore it,] He mentally huffed. [Do whatever you wish, Lord Ren.]

Ren gritted his teeth, fighting to remain calm despite the rage he felt rapidly growing within his ribcage. He squeezed his eyes closed, as if the force behind the action could somehow make everyone else in the shuttle disappear. He wanted to scream at the man sitting next to him - to lash out with his lightsaber and reduce the entire cabin to smoldering ruin. However, he also wanted to arrive on the planet's surface /alive/, and he knew the consequences of unleashing his wrath on a ship of this size would undoubtedly be catastrophic. Reopening his eyes, and channeling his energy to clasping his hands so hard that his gloves strained against his knuckles, he shifted his gaze to General Hux, fixing him with a withering glare. [You are insufferable!] he shot into the other man's mind. [Did it not occur to you that I was choosing to look elsewhere so as not to raise suspicions amongst your precious troops that we are communicating psychically?] His thoughts were firing at a rapid pace, and he hoped the mental link they shared was strong enough that Hux would catch it all. Given their recent history together, he guessed that it was. [Furthermore, for you to imply that I don't care about what you have to say is ludicrous!] He dropped his gaze to his hands, which were starting to ache from his own vice-like grip, and willfully relaxed them, smoothing his gloved palms down over his knees. When he lifted his eyes to meet Hux's, they were softer, almost pleading as he pushed a final thought into the General's mind. [I don't want to fight with you. I accept your apology, and I also apologize for getting upset. Snoke is watching us. We need to work /together/ to redeem ourselves in his eyes.] There was so much more that he wanted to convey - not only words, but deeper, less tangible things. But his own insecurity forbade it - especially now, when he was so confused about his own feelings, not to mention those of another individual. Those expressions would have to wait, at least until they could have some privacy.

The air inside the entire shuttle shifted suddenly. It became heavy to breathe, almost humid with how thick it was. The soldiers all suddenly either left the main cabin or found tasks that took them to the far corners of the small ship, scattering like droplets of rain after violently crashing to the ground. Green eyes flickered down to the poor black gloves, leather stretching too far, too tight over furiously clenched fingers. When he looked back up, Ren was shooting death at him. Hux tensed in a matter of milliseconds. [Your eyes.] The black eyes watching the General, now, were not the ones he knew. A dark, dark light flickered in them that was too close to the surface. Ren's eyes normally intrigued him with how much they revealed about the man. But.../those/ eyes made him want to run, but they also froze him in place. Then that growling voice ripped into his mind - not like before, not just a voice, but a blade tearing into him. The Force-user looked away and just as quickly as it came, the oppressive feeling vanished and Hux could breathe again. The next time Ren looked up, he was himself, again. [Okay, yes, good. We'll talk more later...right now, I don't think my head can take another, whatever you just did.] Hux looked away, again, suddenly exhausted.

[What about my eyes?] he thought, but just as quickly, noticed that everyone had left the general vicinity. He hadn't even known he was doing it, but in his rage, he had used Force suggestion to clear the room. He smirked, smugly satisfied with the accomplishment, even though it hadn't been intentional. "Sorry," he said quietly, but audibly. "I didn't mean for that to get out of hand." They still had several hours before they would reach their destination, and already Ren ached to have solid ground beneath his feet, and space between himself and the nearest human being. "What do you know about Utapau?" he asked Hux, partly because he wanted to prepare for their mission, but mostly to change the subject.

Hux wanted nothing more than to just lean against the other and fall asleep, not that he would admit that. He pointedly did not meet the other's gaze. He had seen all he wanted, today, and it had shaken him. [They-I don't know how to describe it, they were animal. Not you. They were /black/, Ren.] The General welcomed the change in subject, but almost wished the subordinates he was just glowering at were back, closer, more present. More on hand. He wasn't scared of the knight, normally, but he was certainly feeling something akin to it, now. "Ah, Utapau. It's a sinkhole planet, once inhabited by people who built cities inside of them, now largely in ruin. Orbited by nine moons. It has a vast subterranean ocean, but that doesn't help at all against the hyperwinds that we will experience on the surface of it." Force, he was tired, he was just reciting facts, hoping they fit together in a way that made sense. "As the Supreme Leader said, it had a massive Kyber crystal once, but that was destroyed during the Clone Wars of Old. It's a planet in shambles, waiting to collapse on itself, so he sends his apprentice and General to it."

Ren frowned at Hux's description of his eyes, not quite knowing what to make of it. [I'm sorry, Hux] he asserted telepathically, feeling genuine remorse for what must have been awful to behold, considering the definite fear being projected by the General even now. His brow furrowed even more deeply, though, at the description of the planet being laid out now by his companion. "Sounds lovely," he commented sarcastically. "Sink holes, hyperwinds...what more could we ask for?" With a derisive laugh, he added, "I'm beginning to think Leader Snoke's true intent is to send us to our death." With an icy chill running down his spine, he suddenly remembered a series of stories he'd heard as a youngling, about the terrifying wildlife native to one of the Outer Rim planets...it /could/ have been Utapau... "Tell me, General, that Utapau is /not/ the home planet of the Flying Squid!" He cast a nervous glance at Hux. "Or the Resputi?" He knew it was foolish - a lingering dread, spawned from the ghost stories of his childhood, but the thought of such monstrous carnivorous beasts made the color drain from his face. "Hux?" he pressed, "It's not, is it?"

The General shrugged off the apology. The crew were finally starting to come back into the main cabin and that made him breathe easier. "I don't know, Ren. I don't keep up with scary bedtime stories," he finally glanced back at the other, surprised to see genuine worry in the force-user's eyes. Hux kept his smirk in place, again. His eyes frosted over and a mix of defiance and deviousness. [This actually bothers you, doesn't it? I'm sure those are just folklore, Kylo. Just stories to keep people away from...whatever is on this damn planet.] "He very well could be sending us to die," he agreed out loud. "We lost him Starkiller. And the droid with the map. And the scavenger girl. He doesn't exactly owe us praises." Hux frowned, finishing his train of thought silently. [He won't kill you. Me, however? I'm expendable.] He leaned back heavily against his seat, not enough that he looked relaxed, but enough that he hoped to ease some of the tension that had coiled in his shoulders. [He doesn't need me.]

The younger man tried to relax. This paranoia was unbecoming of a Force user, and especially one of the Dark Side, but a remnant of fear lingered in the back of his mind like icy fingers trailing down his neck. Quickly deciding to try and cover up his foolish jitters, he projected [No, I'm not really bothered. I just wanted to see if I could get a rise out of you] The statement, even in his mind, sounded preposterous, but he hoped it would not sound quite as silly to Hux as an admission of panic over a creature that most likely didn't even exist. If the thought of flying squid had felt like icy fingers on his neck, Hux's next words felt like an entire vat of liquid carbonite poured over his head. The most chilling aspect of the statement was that it was true. They /had/ failed tremendously, and the youthful apprentice knew his Master's malice. He would not hesitate to execute /both/ of them if it gave him pleasure to do so. When Hux had stilled his audible voice, though, and spoke internally to Kylo, his heart sank. [You're wrong] he thought. [You do not know what Snoke said to me when you were not there...] He considered whether it would be wise to divulge the exact nature of the conversation between his Master and himself, and ultimately decided it would serve no purpose to do so, other than to cause the General to look on Kylo as weak - a failure, and that was one thing he simply could not stand. Keeping the details to himself, Ren glanced around to make sure no one was looking in their direction, and placed a comforting hand on Hux's shoulder. [The Supreme Leader does not need me, either] he projected with a gentleness that did not come naturally to the fiery young man. [We're in this together, Hux.]

Hux rolled his eyes at the pitiful excuse that Ren supplied for his fears. Fine, don't talk about it. Just drop it, like all your other feelings. He let the hand rest on him for a moment before rolling this shoulder to brush it off. [Don't mock me, Ren, I know where I stand in Snoke's eyes, regardless of what he may or may not have told you.] Green eyes trailed over the other man once more before the General stood and began to move from crewman to crewman, checking on the status of the ship, but using it more as an escape from close proximity to his companion. [How about you do something else besides think about Ky-] Hux silenced the superficial thought as soon as he realized the mental link was still open. He cut the connection. He needed to be in his own head, talking only to himself. He needed to step back into himself - callous, calculative - and he couldn't do that with more people in his head than what he was used to. When he had wasted as much time as he could aimlessly going over routines and checking in with each stormtrooper, he finally made his way back to take the seat beside the one he had originally occupied. 'Keep people at an arm's length,' his father's voice trailed into his head. With a sigh and a forlorn look out the main window and into open space - all those stars and black emptiness - he reopened his mind to the knight.

When Hux shrugged off his attempt at consolation, Ren felt as though he'd been kicked in the stomach. But that small rejection was nothing compared to the complete abandonment he felt when Hux cut the mental connection they shared. (So much for asking nicely) he thought to himself. (And so much for my pitiful attempts at comforting him...) Briefly, he considered /forcing/ his way back into Hux's mind, if only to hurl a few choice words before severing the connection himself, but ultimately decided against it. His eyes followed the auburn haired man as he made his way from person to person, always the overseer, always in control. Except the night before... He had let his defenses down then, hadn't he? He'd even granted the younger man a measure of control. Ren's neck and face flushed at the memory, but he didn't care. He was jolted back to the present as General Hux took a seat, leaving one seat vacant between them. It was one more rejection, and it was all he could bare. Suddenly, the psychic connection between them was open again, and he looked quickly over at Hux. [You think this is a game, Hux?] he projected. Sighing heavily, he withdrew from Hux's mind and firmly set his own mental walls in place. "I'm going to try and get some sleep," he said aloud, his voice shakier than he would have liked, as he slumped down in his seat, trying in vain to find a comfortable position conducive to sleep.

[It's not a-] The walls were back up before Hux could finish his rebuttal, he sighed. He watched in silence for a few moments as the dark-haired man tried to find a comfortable position. The seats were by no means comfortable - they were a military organization, not an interior design company. Everything they had was practical, efficient, effective. Nothing was for sentiment or comfort. He looked around, tagging each crew member as they worked, as though that mattered at all. Hux had already accepted that he was just doing all of this - all this routine and General-ing - to keep his mind from straying too far into the same sentiment that military operations cannot afford to have. Eventually he whispered, "It's not a game." He stood, half turning to the knight. "Lay across the seats, it will be easier to sleep." As mentally run down as he felt, the last thing Hux needed was to sleep - to sleep and dream of what /could have/ been instead of what /is/. It was going to be a long flight, but the shorter amount of time left alone to his own delusions, the better. He felt like there was more to say, as though leaving the conversation - what little there actually was - here would only sever another connection. [Look what you've done to me.] He forced himself to walk away, to relieve the co-pilot and take over himself.


End file.
